does "butler" ever read douglas coupland?

yes, I still think about Butler. whenever I read something that is absolutely and mind-alteringly awesome, I think about how butler introduced me to Siddhartha. And all things Kurt Voneggut. And I think about how we communed around Albert Camus - The Outsider, The Myth of Sisyphus, The Fall, and Jack Kerouac and Neil Cassady. How impressed butler was when I told him i'd read "Off the Road" by Carolyn Cassady. (Dan lent me this book, and I still have it. I'll give it back, Dan, I promise. Do you ever read this blog of mine? I used to read yours every day and comment, but you never commented back. dan, sometimes it's like your heart and your mind is right in the same space with mine, and other times (most times, really) you stand with your back to me and leave me out, figuratively and literally. do i register even on your periphery?... sorry, digression)
and then It was fun to be able to introduce butler to an author he'd never heard of - Don DeLillo - and have him enjoy that. Dan introduced me to DeLillo.

last night, visiting the old joint, butler wasn't there, but derek was, and (he asked me what I was reading! my weakness, is when a boy cares about what I'm reading more than impressing me by what he's reading or what he's read. boys that are impressed by me. that is my weakness. I digress. I'll come back to this later or another day.) so anyway, derek, who I might see again in a couple of months, told me if i ever wanted to read more coupland he's got a library. microserfs, life after God, the other one i haven't read but can't remember the name of. and he's never read hey, nostrodamus! so he can borrow mine any time.

please, can i go through the rest of my life without racking up too many more of these life-altering, never completely die, achingly bittersweet "crush"es? ya know, they gotta come up with a better term for this. I'm almost 30 and they are not crushes. they are these connections, ties, that i can't or won't sever. love? not really lust. i'm not really particularly lusty. how can i ever be someone's wife? i guess i'll have to leave these boys and my ties to them behind me. someday.

So should i have changed the names of the not particularly innocent, to protect myself?