this one's for the boys

Dear boys,

You know who you are. You are the collection that I have carried with me, adding to you as I've grown and changed. I let you change me. I needed you to change me. I let you hurt me. And since you're not actually in my life except in the imaginary one, I've agonized over the girls you've loved since you loved me. But it's all changed. You're free. I'm leaving you behind. You can date whomever you want to. You can live with whomever you want to. You can marry whomever you want to. Have pet cats and turtles and plants and your own lives with whomever you want. In your time you gave me something, you took something from me, we became something special together. But now carrying you with me is a weight and I can't handle it anymore - I'm losing myself in order to hold onto you. I wouldn't want to take back the experiences, the poems I wrote, and if I could I'd go back and write more, but I can't, and I want to write new poetry about new things anyway.

So thanks for all of it, and goodbye.
Moi.