Saturday, November 20, 2004

forget it...

I was going to post, because people have been bugging me, but I don't know what the hell to say. so bite me.

I'll post later.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Summer of 1984

I found two letters, written to my mom within 3 days of each other. Both made me cry. A lot. One is by me, at the age of 8 but almost 9, written while at my paternal grandparents home in P.E.I. And the other is by my grandmother, her mother, age unimportant. A wonderful, eloquent, loving and thoughtful woman who I haven't thought of really, for a while. But I love her and the impact she's had on our lives.

Tuesday July 10th
Hi, I'm fine. Who wone the baseball game? Is Matthew being good? I am assigned to put Charlie outside and bring her in. and I'm helping nanny in the garden. anyway I'm getting bord so I think I'll go and play outside so give Matthew and dad a kiss for me. I'm having lots of fun. see you soon. xoxo

Is daddy making a lot of money? you don't have to give me your smurf cup if you don't want to okay? I miss you so much.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
P.S.
I'm keeping my room clean.
nanny helps me with my bed.
I LOVE YOU!!!!

amid the trees
(and black flies)
July 13th, 1984

Dear Nancy,
This has been a very restuful and intersting holiday so far. The weather has been, for the most part fantastic - we did have three days of rain, two of them in a row, but that makes me appreciat ethe sun when it does break forth. Today I think Olive and I got a little toom much sun but we were in the water most of the time and when we were on the barge there was quite a cool breeze.
I've written to Kristin (also to your brother and will write a joint letter ot your Dad & Eleanor when I finish this one). Anyway, I sent Kristin a picture of herself taken by Win Scott in the next cottage three years ago, with their dog and son Michael. It is just a lovely picture of Kristin so I hope she remembers to take it home with her when she comes. Do you hear from her often? I'm sure she's having a ball but you must miss her.
Have been thinking about Matthew and wondering when his little operation is due. Give him a big hug for me. I hope Jim isn't working TOO hard. You can give him a hug too.
....
Nancy, I'm ashamed to admit it but I still haven't finishe my essay! The time seems to so quickly, not that we really do all that much but I will have to finish it soon.
On Monday Olive and Len are having a phone put in the cottage so we'll have to stick around for that. I guess having a phone up here is a mixed blessing - what I like about it here is that it is so peaceful.
I am fine and healthy (we have avoided fattening desserts except for 2 ice cream cones and dessert at Tally Ho) and am enjoying myself very much.
Hope you are fine too, Nancy, and look forward to seeing you when I get back. I miss you all. Try to take it easy & have some fun.
Jim, too.

Your loving mother.
P.S. The black flies Love Me. My neck and scalp are covered!
Me.

*****
Mom, I left out the stuff about all of Nanny's friends and cousins and social interactions because, well, I didn't recognize any names. Try not to cry too much, okay?
I've been thinking about my roots. Where I come from. And where I want to go. The kind of family I'd like to create some day. So much of what I remember is love and intelligence and beauty. Understanding and compassion. Imperfections, flaws, not so well hidden and that's okay. Inspiration to grow comes from knowing it's okay to grow - mom and dad, nanny and grampa and elly and bob will love me still. I would not be the person I am today if not for this. I was an odd kid. Never quite fit in. I remember liking it. Being brave enough to stand out and just sit under the tree and read no matter how weird they thought I was. being a kid is hard, but if you feel safe enough you can grow - the sky is the limit.

alright. I know this post is too long. More next time.