Monday, May 21, 2007

in my humble opinion...

yesterday I had the opportunity to have a political debate with a person who is happily on the opposite end of the political spectrum as I. On the ride home he was playing Toby Keith, and I said I was more of a Dixie Chicks fan... and of course this became a debate on the virtues on the war on Iraq. The thing is I was not even remotely invested in the discussion. I knew I wasn't going to change his mind and he wasn't going to change mine. The thing about opinions is that really they are an extension of our ideal. In my idea of a perfect world, my opinions reflect the political, economical and philosophical truths perfectly. But as much as I know, I really don't know shit. I know a teeny tiny sliver of everything there is to know, which is why my opinion really can only be defended to a point. Just as my conservative troop supporting pal's opinion can only be defended to a point. political discussions don't have to end friendships if we understand what the other guy is really saying, if I can imagine the ideal world that he is imagining I will see that it's probably not that different from the one I am... it's just that his way of getting there is not as good as mine. haha... just kidding.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

don't think twice, it's alright

so what happens when a 30 year old girl moves back home to her dad's house after ten years out on her own? well, just imagine it. how do you think her independence, her strength, her sense of self and her cultivated optimism stands up against the father who still treats her like a teenager and his new wife who treats her differently every day, when she's not completely ignoring her? how do you think her cat adapts to a new cluttered environment, two new cats and a dog?

okay well I'll start with the cat. for the first four days after we moved, the cat didn't leave my bedroom, and she peed on my duvet the first day. I still haven't been able to get her to use a litter box other than the one in my room so I live with the not-so-faint odour of cat pee as the customized room fragrance. Today was the first day the cat came into the basement - stairs being a new concept for her. And when confronted by a yappy dog, I've heard noises from my cat I didn't know she could make - throaty growls, hisses with bared teeth, and angry scrowly meowing that's reminiscent of jungle dwelling felines.

maybe next time I'll have sorted through some of the stuff I've been overwhelmed in my latest transition, and I'll actually be able to give you the update.

Whenever I've gone through transitions in my life like this, ones I knew were coming, I've handled them similarly. I just take care of the external details that I need to but not let the whole thing get inside. I don't mentally prepare, I don't plan for the emotional upheaval. I think it's hard enough to deal with transitions as they happen but to try to prepare for them just drags the torment out longer. You know? Well, I don't know I could be wrong. But you can't know what you're going to feel, so how can you possibly prepare for it?