You stop looking for it."
John Locke, Lost
Lately I've been so focussed on figuring out what's wrong with me, what's changed, why I just don't feel like myself... and all I've done has made it all worse, to the point that I barely recognize myself. I'm lost. I mean, I'm still here, where I belong, but I can't tell if it's still me. Nothing's wrong with me. I didn't change, I've just been overwhelmed by all the changes around me. I am still myself, but I'm around completely different people in just about every aspect of my life. Plus! At work, I'm pulling longer shifts and the work is more exhausting than my last job... and there are a lot of demands on my time and a lot more pressure. Which, I am not complaining about... I enjoy it, it's just different.
So I'm not going to try to figure any of it all out (besides maybe I just did) I'm just going to let it roll. It is what it is. I can't be anyone else but me... you dig?
1 comment:
Okay, I found this draft of something the other day and in is actually in regards to something B once asked me- this is what I told him about dealing with his emotional rollercoaster of feelings... I told him to just live it. You learn a lot from the experience, a lot about yourself mainly. I told him he needs to take some time for himself with himself... not doing something or being distracted, just time to listen to his own head and learn things... I am a big rollerscoaster of emotions myself but if nothing else I feel like over the last few years I've learned how to manage them and come to terms with my thoughts within myself and I think it's the only way to cope- to keep living it, conciously. I think that would help you right now too... feel it, embrace it, accept it and live through it.
:)
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