dear diary,

what a day. and it's barely started. I spoke today for the first time in two years, and it really fucking hurt my throat. but you know, i did not want to give my captors the satisfaction of breaking me so silence was the only way. when I spoke today, it was to confirm to bill and the president that yes, in fact I would be the saviour of mankind once again and die at the hands of the terrorists. and honest to goodness I was relieved to be done with this life once and for all, and to have my death mean something. Some accuse me of having a messiah complex. But just because I may have that complex doesn't mean I'm not the saviour. Normally my calls to sacrifice are more subtle. I go in knowing I'll probably die but nobody is blatantly asking me to be tortured and die so that the terrorists bombing the country (seemingly) in an arbitrary manner can be stopped. And dammit-all to hell if that bastard wasn't lying to the president about the people responsible just so that he could kill me. That guy was actually the one doing all the bombing. He should have known that telling me I would die for nothing would make me fight. I know, you're thinking "but did you have to bite that guy's flesh off?". Well I didn't hear you coming up with anything better so just bite me. (haha. lol and alllll that shit.) So that brings us up to like 7 am or something. Me sitting in the tunnels beneath fayed's safehouse basically a moment away from being discovered. and one of his men tell him that they gotta go or else the operation will be jeopardized. and once again, Jack Bauer survives by the skin of his teeth. big surprise. (they can't kill me off, not with my contract... ha suckers).

the rest would take me so long to explain all the back story... suffice it to say that I could not have imagined at that time that a nuclear bomb would be going off before 10 this morning. And I really did not expect to be working with Assad, a man with a 20 year career as a terrorist, and basically securing his pardon. But shit he gave me some good information. I want to trust him, even though he did shove a knife into that guy's kneecap. Dude, that was sick. I seriously almost ralfed. One thing that didn't surprise me was that this freaking useless president (and that hag Karen and all of his other shortsighted 'advisors') would not listen to a word I said and because of him all of my worst case scenarios almost came true - had I not intervened I don't even know what would have happened. Well the day would have been over before it started. And then the other thing that of course never comes as a shock is the apologetic, sincere words of the president just before he asks me to take responsibility for the operation and basically give everything I have for my country. I wanted to tell him to fuck off. I wanted to say 'after the shit you put me through this morning already? are you kidding me?" But true to my far-too-patriotic character I heard myself uttering those oh-so-very Jack words "I'll do my best, sir." If I had been standing beside me I might have kicked my teeth in, and I'm not even kidding. I almost missed my prison cell in China.

Damn, I wonder how Audrey is. I so need to get some. 2 years... God.