I don't even effing care if that's the most oft quoted Hunter S. Thompson line ever. I'm diggin it. Johnny Depp didn't seem to mind using it in his tribute, so fuck you.
I'm so manically wannabe inspired. For real. I'm so easily inspired. But I lack the energy to stay that way, that's my real problem. So what I really want is to just always fucking do it all anyway. The life I want. The ticket is in my hand. I'm too tired to get on the train? I'm too tired? enough I say. Goddamn enough is enough. I'm not gonna wait for some stupid boy (who never turns out to be what I think anyway) to come along and inspire me. To come along and take me on a ride. It's my fucking ride. Some time soon, a boy is going to come along and maybe we'll ride together. anyway, if there's one thing i hate is mixed metaphors so I need to stop before i get myself in trouble. (Listen, for all who are wondrin, no nothing bad happened with big daddy. But come on, the damned thing is doomed before - if - it ever gets started. let's be real. I'm not just going to sit around and wait for him to shatter me. I'm no china doll.)
You know what's changed lately? Since I had a bit of a breakdown (see: "all the things my friends won't let me say" if you don't remember it) I've turned off that goddamned TV like 95% of the time. Been listening to music a lot and shit but the only TV I watch regularly is The Hour with my boyfriend George Stroumboulopoulos and the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. On Thursday, George was lamenting the state of television, reminiscing to a time when All in the Family was on and really made a difference. I got teared up. All in the Family, M*A*S*H and other TV back then really expanded people's perceptions by opening up avenues they might not otherwise have been available to them. I think George said this, but I've said this for so long: the last good show we had was Roseanne. (Why I love George: News the way I would broadcast it. Get out of my head dude!) Now it's Everybody Loves Raymond. (George: "well, not everybody..." fekking brilliant. Good stuff George.) The TV we got now doesn't broaden anyone's perceptions: it encloses them by giving us Caricatured and ugly versions of ourselves. These people on sitcoms do not talk about anything. there was no september 11th on Raymond, King of Queen's, any of these (as far as I know. I hate sitcoms.) Okay, when John Ritter died "8 Simple Rules..." came close to something. I saw that. But there is no War on terrorism on TV, there's no lamentations of "Four more years," No Social Security crisis. God damn nothing.
Anyhow, my point was that I've cut my supply of Electromagnetic Prozac and I'm doin okay. Manic as hell because I don't know where to start. I've never danced around this apartment so much as I have this last month. I'm getting all these things done that I care about and I'm excited about fuckin everything. I'm going to go buy a ticket and take a ride. I'll let you know as soon as I decide where to go.
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3 comments:
dude.. Electromagnetic Prozac.. fucking awesome description!
I've learned that for me to be inspired, it has to come from within. I determine my feelings, how my days are, my emotions.. and if I feel inspired or not its all MY choice. yes, we can't control all of our circumstances.. but we can control our reaction to it. as the saying goes.. life is 10% circumstance and 90% attitude.
rock on bud! :)
I know the feeling bud.. it's why I feel great not having watched TV AT ALL for 4 months straight.. so let me re-write your last line: "I'll let you know as soon as I decode where to go"
Thats right Kris, we are NOT china dolls waiting to break...LOVE that description..
Oh yeah, HI! IM HERE!
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